It’s been quite a while since I last wrote here, but I was abroad for a few days with work and then I typed a long post the other night but the internet crashed before it posted and I couldn’t be bothered to type it all out again.

The situation with Flossy has developed a bit. I found out through housemate Al that she definitely does like me, and that housemate Jess is still trying to set us up – and getting far too carried away with the idea considering that absolutely nothing has happened yet.

We all had a get together tonight and there was the odd comment and not too subtle way of leaving us alone together, but nothing at all happened. I wondered if it might be a bit flirty but it was just like I was chatting with any friend. I don’t know whether things might be different on Sunday when we go out and have a few drinks, but at the minute I just don’t think there’s a spark or anything there.

On one hand I think I should give her a chance because she might turn out to be great. But on the other hand it’s almost as if I don’t care if she could be right for me, I just don’t want to do it right now. And I know I won’t just go along with it and see what happens unless I feel stronger than I do now because I won’t let myself do anything that might mess her around. That’s just not me.

Then there’s another issue too. The issue of the ex (the previous ex, not the most recent on). Me and Tabatha split up over three years ago. She’s a bit younger than me and we were just in different places in life, with different priorities, and it didn’t help that at the end we were living far apart. But we were good friends before, and have remained so afterwards – or at least got back there a year or so after splitting.

She’s one of my best girlie mates and she was a good source of advice when I was having problems with my last girlfriend. Since I’ve been single again we’ve talked more and sort of got closer again, I suppose that’s only natural. But on learning about my situation with Flossy, she declared her surprise that I was ready to move on so quickly, and since then there have been little jokes – or supposedly jokes – from both of us about “us”. She’s had even less luck in love since we split than I have, and there seems to be a mutual, unspoken agreement that we had things better together than we’ve had since.

In fact, the break up with my most recent girlfriend showed me just how much me and Tabatha have in common, and that she still might be a better match for me than anyone else. I’ve also come to think that there is a genuine possibility that something could happen there again, although nothing has been said in seriousness.

But now I find myself spending a lot more time thinking about her than I do about Flossy, who is new and a very definite possibility. Whereas with Flossy I don’t really see a spark yet, and don’t seem to want to let myself give her a chance, I can’t stop thinking about Tabatha. She’s beautiful, and so much fun. We’re just completely “get” each other like I’ve never known with anyone else, and I can’t help thinking that if we had another shot at it, it could be amazing.

But then, she’s an ex – so it must be a bad idea, even I think the reasons things went wrong no longer apply. And if I steer in that direction in any seriousness I could easily find that she is not thinking the same.

So things are just more complicated than they were this time last week, and I still don’t know what to do.

But it’s working, I spent well over an hour going round my new programme in there and I didn’t get bored – which is rare. Then throw in an hour in the (gorgeous outdoor) pool (that will be heaven, and the place I spend all summer, when the nice weather comes) and half an hour soothing my tired body in the spa, and I’ve got a cracking workout sorted.

The only problem is I can’t do it four or five times a week as I planned. Partly because work gets in the way but also partly because my body is just too tired, even to swim, cycle or run, too often and needs more time to recover. I’ll get the hang of it eventually, though.

Oh, and today I also washed my face with hair gel, and forgot to take a change of clothes for when I got out of the swimming pool. I’m not on top form!